| |
|
|
Riley is four months old and he has a lot to say, but he can’t
speak yet. Instead, Riley communicates through facial expressions,
sounds, and body language. Over time, his parents are getting
better at reading Riley’s signals.
Dad: "Look at Riley. He’s pulling his ear again. He seems a little
fussy too."
Mom: "Do you think he’s got a wet diaper? Jennifer down the street
told me that when Emma pulls her ear, it almost always means she
needs a diaper change."
Dad: "Wait, he's rubbing his eyes now. Maybe he's trying to tell
us he's sleepy."
Mom: "You know, my mom told me that I pulled on my ear when I was
sleepy. And it’s getting close to naptime."
Babies try to tell us what they want or need even before they can
talk. Part of the fun of parenting is learning how your baby
communicates. No two babies are alike and different babies use
different expressions and movements to tell parents what they
want.
Ken’s little Alicia is fussy. She keeps crying even though Ken fed
her an hour ago. He’s tried picking her up but she keeps on
crying, and now Alicia’s pushing him away. What is she trying to
tell him?
Alicia is usually in a good mood, so Ken is pretty sure that
something is upsetting her. Maybe
 she needs another burping? He
tries burping her. No burp, more crying. Time to try something
else! Could she still be hungry? Ken tries giving her a bottle. It
doesn’t work. Alicia’s not hungry. She’s still crying and now is
rubbing her eyes and mouth.
Maybe she’s wet and needs a new diaper? Ken checks, but Alicia’s
diaper is dry. Maybe she’s tired? Her last nap was a little short.
“Are you tired? Let’s try some rocking and singing. Rock-a-bye
baby, on the tree top, when the wind blows. . .” Alicia yawns and
settles a little. Soon she’s sleeping on her daddy’s shoulder.
Even though it took a few tries, Ken did many things right. Most
importantly, he kept trying! Even if you think you know what your
baby is trying to communicate, be prepared to try something else
if your first idea does not work. Reading your baby’s cues is like
a dance—at first, you might step on each other’s toes or move to
the beat of different drummers. But there’s always another chance,
and with practice both of you will get better at working together.
Sometimes babies keep crying no matter what you do. This can be
hard for everyone, and it can be stressful. If you find yourself
feeling overwhelmed or angry, it would be a good idea to put the
baby down in the crib for a few moments so you can take a deep
breath and calm yourself down. No matter how hard it can be, never
shake or hit a baby to try to get him or her to stop crying. If
possible, see if you can get some help from a family member or a
friend.
Sometimes a simple change makes a difference for a crying baby.
You can try going with the baby to a different room or going
outside together, singing a song, taking the baby for a walk in
the stroller or a drive in the car, or giving the baby a bath.
Sometimes babies are upset by things like bright lights or noises
that you might not notice at first, and a simple change can make a
big difference.
The first step in reading your baby’s cues is paying close
attention. Watch your baby’s expressions, her movements, and her
reactions to your responses. Did it seem like what you tried
worked? What about the second thing you tried? Go through the list
of normal needs. Is it naptime, is she hungry or does she need a
diaper change? Or consider the activities of the day. Does she
need some quiet time after an active visit with her cousins, or is
she seeing a new toy for the first time? Every baby finds ways to
communicate. Here are some cues to consider.
|
Research has found when parents don’t respond to their
baby’s cues (or signals), babies get upset and show signs
of stress. In one experiment, mothers were asked to play
face-to-face with their 3- to 9-month-old babies as they
normally would for a two-minute time segment. Mothers were
then told to stop responding to their babies by becoming
silent and showing no expression on their face for two
minutes. For a final two minutes, mothers again played
with their babies as they normally would (Gianino &
Tronick, 1988; Weinberg & Tronick, 1994). What happened
when moms stop responding to their babies for two minutes?
At first, some of the babies tried to get their moms to
interact with them by smiling or making happy sounds. When
that didn’t work, the babies got upset. Some cried and
most turned away, a few others tried to comfort themselves
by sucking on their fingers. After a short time, the
babies stopped trying to interact (Gianino & Tronick,
1988; Weinberg & Tronick, 1994).These experiments
helped show that parental responses are important.
Clearly, infant facial expressions and behaviors are
important ways your baby communicates with you. By paying
attention to facial cues and body language, and adjusting
your own behavior to your baby’s needs, you are helping
him feel secure and are supporting his healthy
development.
Responding to your baby’s cues is a critical part of
parenting. When parents and caregivers pay attention to
infant expressions and actions and try to respond in
caring ways, babies learn to handle stressful situations
better. Responding to your baby’s cues helps your baby
learn to interact with others in a positive way.
When your baby gives you a cue and you respond to it, she
begins to learn that cues work. The more you respond, the
more you encourage her to send cues when she wants or
needs something. At the same time, she learns which cues
are effective in getting what she wants and needs, and you
learn how to read her cues and respond effectively.
Together, you create lots of cues that help you both know
what to do. |
|
|
 |
-
 Pay close attention to how your baby communicates. Ask yourself: what is she trying to tell me? What does she need?
- Take the daily schedule into account. How long has it been since he’s been fed? Does he need a nap? Has his diaper been changed recently?
- Once you have identified what your baby needs, be sure to respond promptly. If your response does not soothe her that is okay. Try something else.
- Your baby loves to see you and your facial expressions, so play lots of face-to-face games with your baby. Peek-a-boo, got your nose, and paddy cake are favorites!
- Try to follow your baby’s lead. If she’s showing you that she’s interested, keep playing.
- Try to be sensitive to cues that your baby needs a break. If she turns away while you are playing, wait for a moment to see if she turns back to you. If she begins fussing instead, it might be time to try something new or to let her relax for a moment while you stay near.
- Don’t expect to understand every signal, or to be in sync with your baby all the time. You won’t always get it right. Communication is never perfect. If you’re trying, you’re doing a great job!
|
back to top |
|
References:
Gianino, A., & Tronick, E. Z.
(1988). The mutual regulation model:
The infant's self and interactive regulation and coping and
defensive capacities. In T. M. Field, P. M. McCabe & N.
Schneiderman (Eds.), Stress and coping across development
(pp. 47-68). Hillsdale, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum.
Sumner, G., & Spietz, A. (Eds.). (1994). Ncast
caregiver/parent-child interaction feeding manual. Seattle,
WA: NCAST.
Weinberg, M. K., & Tronick, E. Z. (1994). Beyond
the face: An empirical study of infant affective configurations of
facial, vocal, gestural, and regulatory behaviors. Child
Development, 65(5), 1503-1515. |
 |
|
 |
|
 |
|
